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Essay: "Nothing to Lose"

by Jeffery A. Palmer
"Nothing to lose" is a phrase that most of us have used in many cases. I know because I've said it so many times over the years and I still find myself saying it--mostly when someone pisses me off those famous words come out, "Nothing to Lose." However, I'm here to tell you I was wrong when I said those words.

I've lost my freedom to life and everything in it. My wife, children, home, car, job and my family have been turned against me, leaving me to do this life sentence alone. The only one who hasn't turned against me is my father who I haven't seen since I was five years old, and I'm losing him to cancer if I haven't lost him already. It's been almost two months since I last heard from him. None of my siblings take the time to write to me.

Folks, don't lie to yourself or to anyone by saying that you have nothing to lose, because everyone has something to lose when reality sets in. Take it from me because I used to think and say that very same thing until I lost everything that ever meant anything to me: My family, my freedom, my grandparents and my father who is dying if not already dead. It hurts me deep down inside as regrets set in with a reality check that is unforgettable.

Have you ever heard someone say, "If only I knew then what I know now, my life would be different?" Well, if you haven't already then you have now because I'm saying this every single day of my life as I seriously search for a way to regain my freedom before the year 2042. 36 more years in prison bothers me big time. The worst part is I'm in prison inside of a prison as I sit here in a cell all to myself in Administration Segregation because the statement, "Nothing to Lose," came about when I was in Population and in a gang.

I'm happy to say I'm no longer a part of the gang life because I gave my life to Christ and put the old man under my feet to walk as Christ leads me to walk these days. Why? Because I'm getting myself right with God before it's too late...and I want my freedom back. Therefore, Christ is the right way to do just that and hopefully get my wife and children back in my arms as the lord sees fit.

So folks don't say you've got nothing to lose because you all do.

-Minister Jeffery A. Palmer